Author Topic: Handy Definitions  (Read 6150 times)

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Offline Mr Heavy

  • Posts: 100
  • Clamps? Who needs clamps?
Handy Definitions
« on: June 18, 2015, 07:48 PM »
Obsessive
- anyone with one more systainer than I own. (This is a universal definition anyone can use,)

Festhooligan
- an anti-social who performs acts of vandalism to very precise tolerances, perfectly squarely.

Counterbore
- bloke behind the till at the tool store who wants to tell you all about his vacation while you're trying to negotiate discount.

THERE ARE WORSE TO COME...
Sys4 with cheese sandwich, a small pork pie with Tabasco sauce, a nice bottle of dry, vintage Prosecco and three reusable ice packs. Olives with pimento and a capon, roast in Dijon mustard. Several slices of fresh pineapple, a scale model of the Eiffel tower made from noodles, black forest gateau and a gingham table cloth for the MFT-3. A block of Parmesan and a Stanley 2" chisel for grating.
Sys3 with a half bottle of La Fée Absinthe, a spoon and vodka-soaked mint with Rothenberger blow-torch.
125 year old balsamic vinegar in spray bottle.
Ibuprofen and a pair of handcuffs. 2 loaves, 5 (very) small fishes, some bread, broken. A goblet of blood-red wine, a hammer... nails

Offline clark_fork

  • Posts: 307
Re: Handy Definitions
« Reply #1 on: June 18, 2015, 09:40 PM »
Kapexity-  Justification to spouse for Festool purchase  “The Kapexity of this project requires a xxxxx.”

Holy Mackerel- Chap who uses the LR32 without watching the video

Holy Man- Chap who watches the video before using the LR32

Holier than Thou-Chap who makes the video on how to use the LR32

Lootsef- Code word when spouse may overhear you talking about yet another  purchase This is related taking the cure for a reniatsys deficiency.

Festoolie- Your kid who ratted on you to his mother about your latest Festool purchase.

Green with envy- Visited friend’s shop

Green acres- What your spouse thinks of your shop.
Clark Fork

"A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths."  Stephen Wright

"straight, smooth and square" Mr. Russell, first day high school shop class-1954

" What's the good of it?" My Sainted Grandmother

"You can't be too rich, too thin or have too many clamps." After my introduction to pocket joinery and now the MFT work process

"Don't make something unless it is both made necessary and useful; but if it is both necessary and useful,
don't hesitate to make it beautiful." -- Shaker dictum

Offline Kev

  • Posts: 7654
Re: Handy Definitions
« Reply #2 on: June 18, 2015, 09:50 PM »
Fool - what you are when haven't got enough sexy tools ... as in - No, I'm just a Fool [sad]

Offline bkharman

  • Posts: 2074
Re: Handy Definitions
« Reply #3 on: June 18, 2015, 11:01 PM »
Oh how I miss Sniglets. One of my favorites was "Cinemuck". It is that stuff that sticks to you feet at the movie theater.

I will have to think of some for the FOG.

People, I just want to say, you know, can we all get along? Can we get along?

Offline Gwerner

  • Posts: 260
  • They call me George...
Re: Handy Definitions
« Reply #4 on: June 19, 2015, 01:53 AM »
Oh how I miss Sniglets. One of my favorites was "Cinemuck". It is that stuff that sticks to you feet at the movie theater.

I will have to think of some for the FOG.

I think my favorite was Musquirt. Its that runny stuff that comes out of the mustard bottle before the mustard does.

Offline Kev

  • Posts: 7654
Re: Handy Definitions
« Reply #5 on: June 19, 2015, 02:34 AM »
Oh how I miss Sniglets. One of my favorites was "Cinemuck". It is that stuff that sticks to you feet at the movie theater.

I will have to think of some for the FOG.

I think my favorite was Musquirt. Its that runny stuff that comes out of the mustard bottle before the mustard does.

I feel ill [crying]

Offline clark_fork

  • Posts: 307
Re: Handy Definitions
« Reply #6 on: June 19, 2015, 09:08 AM »

Feeling Ill?
 
How about a  Festool bib:

Fesdrool- The slop that seeps out when coveting another Festool purchase
Clark Fork

"A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths."  Stephen Wright

"straight, smooth and square" Mr. Russell, first day high school shop class-1954

" What's the good of it?" My Sainted Grandmother

"You can't be too rich, too thin or have too many clamps." After my introduction to pocket joinery and now the MFT work process

"Don't make something unless it is both made necessary and useful; but if it is both necessary and useful,
don't hesitate to make it beautiful." -- Shaker dictum

Offline bkharman

  • Posts: 2074
Re: Handy Definitions
« Reply #7 on: June 19, 2015, 09:42 AM »
Clark...  Are you really Rick Little in disguise??

You churn the Festool-isms out pretty darn quick!!

People, I just want to say, you know, can we all get along? Can we get along?

Offline clark_fork

  • Posts: 307
Re: Handy Definitions
« Reply #8 on: June 19, 2015, 01:10 PM »


Old Version L.S.M.F.T  “Lucky Strike Means Fine Tobacco.”

New Version: L. S. M.F. T. “ Let’s score more Festool today

Family Dinner Table Version L.S.M. F.F.T.- Lord, save me from Festool talk

Clark Fork

"A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths."  Stephen Wright

"straight, smooth and square" Mr. Russell, first day high school shop class-1954

" What's the good of it?" My Sainted Grandmother

"You can't be too rich, too thin or have too many clamps." After my introduction to pocket joinery and now the MFT work process

"Don't make something unless it is both made necessary and useful; but if it is both necessary and useful,
don't hesitate to make it beautiful." -- Shaker dictum

Offline jobsworth

  • Posts: 6921
  • Festool Baby.....
Re: Handy Definitions
« Reply #9 on: June 19, 2015, 01:40 PM »
One we used in the sand box but can fit here

Ruminit- rumour intelligence

Rumours that appear prior to Festool releasing their newest products.

Rumour Control- thread on FOG started where new tool rumours are discussed and controlled by the perpetrators of such rumours

Candy store- tool store that has all the goodies

OpSec- operational security,secretly developing a plan and keeping it a secret that is used when sneaking new tools past the wife and into the shop before she notices

Detente- buying your wife some cheap gift when you buy a Festool in order to keep peace . Refer to OpSec
« Last Edit: June 19, 2015, 01:48 PM by jobsworth »

Offline bkharman

  • Posts: 2074
Re: Handy Definitions
« Reply #10 on: June 19, 2015, 02:22 PM »
For the IT folks (most probably know this one) there is this:

Someone makes a silly computer mistake. You ask if they had the ID 10 T error. Put it together and it looks like this...

ID10T error.

:D

People, I just want to say, you know, can we all get along? Can we get along?

Offline rst

  • Posts: 2851
Re: Handy Definitions
« Reply #11 on: June 19, 2015, 04:57 PM »
Dominiatrix...trust me, you don't wanna know

Offline Sparktrician

  • Posts: 4328
Re: Handy Definitions
« Reply #12 on: June 19, 2015, 06:24 PM »
This seems particularly appropriate, given recent developments on the left coast of the US: "Transvestheight: The difference between the jockstrap and the bra." 
- Willy -

  "Show us a man who never makes a mistake and we will show a man who never makes anything. 
  The capacity for occasional blundering is inseparable from the capacity to bring things to pass."

 - Herman Lincoln Wayland (1830-1898)

Offline Mr Heavy

  • Posts: 100
  • Clamps? Who needs clamps?
Re: Handy Definitions
« Reply #13 on: June 19, 2015, 11:08 PM »
FesCool

--Yeah Bro!





or:
 a small Li-Ion refrigeration unit. Fits in systainer with a couple of beers or a bottle of Moet. -- Tool suggestion!!
Sys4 with cheese sandwich, a small pork pie with Tabasco sauce, a nice bottle of dry, vintage Prosecco and three reusable ice packs. Olives with pimento and a capon, roast in Dijon mustard. Several slices of fresh pineapple, a scale model of the Eiffel tower made from noodles, black forest gateau and a gingham table cloth for the MFT-3. A block of Parmesan and a Stanley 2" chisel for grating.
Sys3 with a half bottle of La Fée Absinthe, a spoon and vodka-soaked mint with Rothenberger blow-torch.
125 year old balsamic vinegar in spray bottle.
Ibuprofen and a pair of handcuffs. 2 loaves, 5 (very) small fishes, some bread, broken. A goblet of blood-red wine, a hammer... nails

Re: Handy Definitions
« Reply #14 on: June 19, 2015, 11:17 PM »
Another one for Holier than thou - person who has more Holy rails than you

Holy Roller - person who takes a chance and upgrades his rails to holy rails even though he doesn't own an LR32 yet

Offline teocaf

  • Posts: 602
Re: Handy Definitions
« Reply #15 on: June 20, 2015, 12:39 AM »


Fe stool:  The consequence of eating too much spinach!


...yeah, I've got that kind of mind...

Offline r.vogel61

  • Posts: 2
Re: Handy Definitions
« Reply #16 on: June 20, 2015, 12:55 AM »


Fe stool:  The consequence of eating too much spinach!


...yeah, I've got that kind of mind...
*ROFL*

Offline Davej

  • Posts: 630
Re: Handy Definitions
« Reply #17 on: June 20, 2015, 02:13 AM »


Fe stool:  The consequence of eating too much spinach!


...yeah, I've got that kind of mind...


Or a bag of iron nails  [eek]
I dont mind growing old but i refuse to grow up

Offline rst

  • Posts: 2851
Re: Handy Definitions
« Reply #18 on: June 20, 2015, 07:23 AM »
Greenvy...the lust for German engineering

Offline Tinker

  • Posts: 3782
Re: Handy Definitions
« Reply #19 on: June 20, 2015, 08:14 AM »
A lot of us think we are Experts at something. I often wonder.
an Ex is a has been
A spert is a drip under pressure.
Tinker
Wayne H. Tinker

Offline teocaf

  • Posts: 602
Re: Handy Definitions
« Reply #20 on: June 20, 2015, 10:36 AM »
A lot of us think we are Experts at something. I often wonder.
an Ex is a has been
A spert is a drip under pressure.
Tinker

you're really reaching, dude...

i know you're joking, but i'm not sure that a "spurt" and a "spert" are the same thing.  always wanting to learn new words, i looked up spert and the only definition i could find was from the urban dictionary--some scatalogical reference, proving that this thread is quickly going down the toilet...

however, your comment about feigning expertise does remind me of quite a few entries that i see on this and other forums.  that's where people ask for reviews of tools they are thinking of buying and there are always those that chime in with things like: "yeah, i own that and it's great".  it's not followed by anything else--there's no further comment on why it's great, what specific features they found useful, what might separate it from other similar products, what they're using it for.  they provide no useful insight whatsoever, save for the fact that they wish to let others know what's in their toolbox.

Offline teocaf

  • Posts: 602
Re: Handy Definitions
« Reply #21 on: June 20, 2015, 10:52 AM »
a very fancy Fe Stool, in the "broadest" sense of the word...